I Give Myself Very Good Advice
by Saturnian Dreamer
Summary: Suzee finally admits she doesn't know everything, and she and Miss Davenport try to have a heart-to-heart. Apparently offering reassurance is a social skill they both lack. (Het and slash pairings discussed. A take on the Harlan/Suzee/Radu love triangle.)


**Title** : I Give Myself Very Good Advice

 **Rating** : T

 **Category** : gen, friendship, teen angst

 **Pairings** : Het and slash pairings discussed. Suzee/? All will be revealed at the end.

 **Summary** : Suzee finally admits she doesn't know everything, and she and Miss Davenport try to have a heart-to-heart. Apparently offering reassurance is a social skill they both lack.

 **Notes** : Het and slash pairings discussed. A take on the Harlan/Suzee/Radu love triangle. I don't own _Space Cases_. Title is from _Alice in Wonderland_ , which I don't own either (although I believe it is now public domain).

* * *

 **I Give Myself Very Good Advice**

After Miss Davenport dismissed class for the day, Suzee stayed behind to talk to her teacher. The engineer approached with trepidation, and Davenport took note of the young woman's unusually apprehensive demeanor.

"Suzee? Is something the matter?" Davenport asked.

"I was actually hoping for some advice." Suzee frowned as she glanced down at the floor, ashamed of the request.

Davenport quirked an eyebrow. "You've never needed my help with anything before. In fact you tend to blatantly ignore any information or advice I may have to offer."

Suzee winced. "I know. But you're the only one I can talk to about this. I could use your help. Please?"

"Oh." This was highly unusual. Davenport always assumed hers was the last opinion Suzee valued. Perhaps something else was amiss. "What about Catalina?" she proposed, gesturing to the space beside Suzee where she assumed the invisible Saturnian stood.

"Oh, Cat's not here right now. I asked her to leave for a few minutes so I could have some privacy. She does attend your classes though," Suzee offered. "We thought you'd like to know that."

Davenport smiled. It was refreshing to know that Catalina still felt her classes were useful, especially after how many times she had complained about attending them when she was physically onboard the ship. "Thank you. That is very nice to hear. Please tell her that for me."

"I will. But I was hoping to talk to you about something, um, unrelated to academics," Suzee explained. She clasped her hands together to prevent herself from fidgeting. "I'm beginning to realize that while I excel at engineering, I might not be that great with some social stuff."

Davenport begged to differ. "I'd say you're doing rather well, considering how Harlan and Radu hang onto your every word. And I'm sure you know that that Rosie looks up to you. She treats you like she would an older sister."

"Yeah, I guess. But I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing half the time."

"All right. I'll try to help however I can." Davenport followed Suzee over to the bleachers. She took a seat next to her student and watched the young lady nervously pick at her nails. "So your dilemma—"

"What do you do when you like someone but they don't like you back?" Suzee blurted out.

Davenport's eyebrows flew up in surprise. Of all the potential topics of discussion, she had not anticipated this one. The teacher considered the question and tried to choose her words carefully. "As I stated before, I think Harlan and Radu—"

"Well maybe you're wrong!" Suzee snapped. She groaned in defeat. "Sorry. Sorry. It's just that I think maybe some more general advice would be helpful right now. Without assuming anything."

Suzee was trying Davenport's patience, but the older woman wasn't going to push her away. Not when the young lady was finally opening up to her. T.J. cleared her throat and her thoughts. "I'd say that given our circumstances, I can safely assume one thing: the person to whom you are referring resides on this ship and will continue to do so until we return home."

Suzee worried her lip as she listened attentively.

"And because we will all be onboard for a very long time," Davenport continued, "I recommend remaining friends so you are able to work together as part of a team."

The Yensidian bristled.

"Hypothetically, if you were to pursue a romantic relationship with this individual and it ended badly, you would need to live with this person for the next five years and maintain an amicable working relationship. Would you be able to do that?"

"Yes!" Suzee replied instantly. "I mean, we're friends before anything else." She considered this a moment and her shoulders sagged, suddenly weighed down with doubt. "At least, I hope so."

Honestly, the thought of the students pairing off worried Davenport more than she wanted to admit, and she dreaded the fallout from those dalliances. But the students were teenagers, and Suzee would be in her twenties when they returned to the Starcademy. Davenport couldn't deny her or the others their adolescence or happiness.

"How can you tell?" Suzee wondered. "I mean, how can you tell the difference between a strong friendship and maybe something like love? Is it possible to fall in love with a friend? And then is it romantic love or just friendly love? And how do you know if someone feels the same way? Do you know what it's like to be around someone all the time and lying and hoping that your feelings aren't written all over your face?"

The young engineer was obviously worked up and probably had these thoughts and feelings for a while. T.J. knew a thing or two about anxiety, and she felt sympathy for Suzee. She placed her hand on the girl's shoulder in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. "Calm down, dear. Leave the worrying to me." She opted for some levity, adding, "According to Mister Band, worrying is what I do best."

Suzee gave the former assistant principal a hesitant smile.

"You stated earlier that this wasn't something you were able discuss with Catalina. Might it have something to do with her feelings for Harlan?" Davenport wondered.

Suzee frowned. "It's just really complicated. Cat is my best friend. And I don't want anything to ruin our friendship, especially since we'll never be able to avoid each other."

"I see. Well—"

"It's unconventional for me to be romantically interested in someone from a different race, from a different dimension. That's just not accepted on my homeworld. And now I'm here with everyone for who-knows-how-long, and Cat's back in Yensid and I have these feelings and... Should I take a chance and risk losing a friendship and getting my heart broken over something that might not even work out?"

Davenport considered this. "Well, I suppose you will never know if you don't communicate your feelings. And I also suppose that—when it comes to matters of the heart—dreaming of what could have been and having regrets can potentially be even more painful than rejection."

"Communicate my feelings." Suzee repeated uncertainly. "And that's what you would do?"

Davenport stiffened, becoming defensive. "This isn't about me, Suzee."

What T.J. would hypothetically do was what she was actively doing: falling for Commander Goddard and keeping him at arm's length. But could she really advise Suzee to do the same? She couldn't expect the young lady to ignore her feelings and deny herself happiness. She didn't want her to be miserable and—

Oh. Well then. Maybe this was a learning experience for both teacher and student.

"I suppose you are in a situation where your head is at war with your heart," Davenport clarified. "If I'm honest, I'm afraid I seem to be more of the practical type and not the emotional."

"Is that why you avoid acting on your feelings for the Commander?"

The blunt question blindsided Davenport, and she found herself stammering for a few seconds before regaining coherent thought. "I beg your pardon! What gave you the idea that—"

"I see the way you look at him. Everyone does. Cat still makes jokes about it," Suzee answered honestly with a sly smile. "But I'd imagine if things didn't work out, you and the Commander would pretty much have the same relationship you do now. Y'know, bickering everyday and avoiding talking about your feelings."

Apparently being tactful and offering reassurance were also social skills Suzee lacked. Things would definitely not be as simple as the engineer believed. But what reason could Suzee possibly have for wanting Davenport and Goddard together? Was this some sort of trick? Was there a betting pool? T.J. narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Suzee, did you really want to discuss your relationship status with another member of the crew? Or were you hoping to gain some insight into my personal life?"

"Both?" Suzee cringed and made a half-hearted attempt to look innocent. "I am struggling, and I do want your help. But really, you'd have to be blind not to notice the thing between you and Commander Goddard."

Davenport sighed. She couldn't really be mad at Suzee knowing that the girl had been honest, just not entirely forthcoming. And T.J. was all too familiar with using deflection techniques in conversation. "If we could resume discussing your predicament, then?" she prompted. "You spoke about the culture of your homeworld before. Have you considered how your family's views might fit into the picture?"

"That's the last thing I'm worried about for, like, a bunch of reasons," Suzee explained, picking up steam again. "I need to figure out how I feel first. It's just so difficult being around someone all the time and getting to know them and then liking them as a person and then as a friend and then having these other feelings appear one day. It seemed like it was all out of the blue, but the more I think about it, the more I think they were there all along and I just didn't understand what they were. There are just so many extenuating circumstances, and I haven't really been looking as hard as I should to find a way home because I'd never be able to come back here again, and what I really want is to find a way to bring Cat back onboard and then just stay here with her, but I'm afraid to ask her about it because she and I..."

Davenport smiled kindly at the rambling engineer as the penny dropped. "I am sure someone as bright as yourself will be able to find a way to bring Catalina back without being forced to return to your own dimension, if that is what you truly want. You girls both deserve to be happy. _Together_."

Suzee closed her eyes and took a calming breath, but when she turned back to the teacher, the vulnerability on her face was unnerving. "Talking helped, but I'm still scared. I have a lot to figure out, and I'm not ready to say anything to anyone else yet. I don't want to ruin everything. Miss Davenport, please don't say anything to anyone."

"Don't worry, Suzee. My lips are sealed. And I do genuinely hope everything works out for you girls. If you'd like to talk about anything, I'm here to listen and help however I can. Anytime."

Davenport was taken by surprise when the engineer gave her a hug. She stiffly patted Suzee on the back. Maybe T.J. should practice what she preached. Apparently expressing affection was a social skill she needed to work on.

"Thanks, Miss Davenport." Suzee pulled away with an amused smile on her face. "But just so you know, you hug like Thelma."

Davenport narrowed her eyes once again at the girl's candor. "Yes, thank you for letting me know."

"Like, it's _really_ mechanical."

"Yes, I understand." Davenport said through a forced smile. "Thank you."

The Yensidian chuckled as she walked to the jumptube control panel and keyed in the access code for the Lounge. "By the way, everyone knows you have feelings for the Commander, _including_ the Commander. So maybe they two of you should, I dunno, at least talk about that?"

Davenport balked. "I beg your—"

But Suzee was gone; having made her exit through the jumptubes before the former assistant principal could say another word.


End file.
